Seth and I had a trip booked to Hawaii February 2020. We had booked it when I was 10 weeks pregnant as a baby moon for when I was to be halfway through the pregnancy. We were excited about it all to say the least. Unfortunately, at 12 weeks along, I miscarried. It was heartbreaking and soul crushing yet the most spiritual time in my life since I felt God with me so personally during this time. My faith that He knew exactly what He was doing grew stronger and I knew things would happen in His time the way they were meant to.
We were still lucky enough to be able to go on our vacation in February. (This was RIGHT before places started to shut down because of Covid-19). Hawaii has always been a healing place for me and I was excited to visit there for a bit and enjoy one of my favorite places on earth. While we were there, it was rainy and almost everyday I would see a rainbow when the sun would come out again. This gave me so much hope as I was yearning for our rainbow baby to come.
The day we got off the plane and back to Alaska, we drove to the grocery store and grabbed a pregnancy test for just in case. I wanted to be ready to try again. We went to bed that night and at 5 am, I woke up because I couldn’t resist any longer. I went and took a pregnancy test.
It flashed through with no hesitation saying I was pregnant. I immediately got on my knees in my bathroom and had a long talk with Heavenly Father thanking him for this incredible miracle and praying to have the strength to love our baby with everything I have. I also prayed that I would be able to get up off my knees and from this time on move forward with 100% faith and not fear of the what ifs.
I went back into our bedroom where Seth was sleeping and tried to get into bed so quietly so I could tell him when he was more awake. I laid there for a couple minutes trying to take it all in, realizing I probably wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon when Seth woke up a bit enough to ask me, “Was I dreaming or did you just take a pregnancy test?”
I told him I did. He asked, “What did it say?”
“That we are having a baby.”
He grabbed me and held me so tight. It was one of the sweetest, most pure moments.